I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Enjoy the penises
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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