So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
