her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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