I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
