gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
