Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
