Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
is that a dick in a sweater?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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