ADVERTISEMENT

• (773): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

  Fav 15 1055 2364

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube

  Fav 11 1976 2488

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.

  Fav 20 4685 1323

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll

  Fav 9 3322 1311

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

  Fav 4 1973 1477

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.

  Fav 13 981 3061

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (231): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

  Fav 2 1332 734

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

  Fav 3 837 623

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

  Fav 2 522 942

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

  Fav 2 1103 502

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

  Fav 2 797 705

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.

  Fav 1 581 593

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.

  Fav 1 372 245

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...

  Fav 4 85 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (937): View more from Ohio

  our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.

  Fav 0 26 54

  share tweet
  

Randomize