And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
