ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
