I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
