...so i touched it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
