their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
