meet me or not, i'm out of control
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize