just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
