i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
