3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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