boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
