I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
