No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What drink are we having for lunch?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
