I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
