You just made me feel so damn special
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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