She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
