I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize