Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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