its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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