Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
