no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We named our party play list daddy issues
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
