are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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