So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
