It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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