I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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