Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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