Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
