Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
