Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm both gender and math confused
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
