um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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