is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize