so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
