I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize