Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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