Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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