I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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