There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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