im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
