I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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