WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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