Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
