your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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