thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize