I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
