I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
