I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize