she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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