hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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