So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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