Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
