i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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