You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize